We exist.
We walk on our feet. We smile. We mope. We laugh. We cry.
That is all.

This has by far been my most pessimistic new years eve in a long time. Actually, I have been blank the whole holiday when I think of it. And for at least 50% of the year.
I spent the evening almost alone (meaning I was alone in the room, but not in the house) wallowing in self-pity thinking how the next year is going to suck as much as 2007 did.
Sadly my pessimistic attitude has affected those other people in the house, even sadder; I do not care. Everything feels meaningless right now.

Happy new year to all of you optimists! I really hope 2008 will work out great for you.
To all pessimists; I hope it works out for you too

Is being stubborn a bad thing?

Apparently you have to cry, show your emotion, to make her understand. Telling her over and over again has not done the trick. I do not like that. And I definitely do not like what she said afterwards. I finally have it. I have it, and her opinion is to rip it all away. She cannot understand. She says she does. Missing it without experiencing it is one thing. But when you go from not having it, to having it, and then you suddenly have to give it up again? That is pure cruelty. I have wanted this my whole life. She knows that. She knows it so well. She knows about my problems. She knows how much I wanted it. But what does that matter when someone else, who played the main part of ruining a big part of my childhood, does not want me to have it? She is stuck between two people. I know. And I am selfish thinking she should prioritize my feelings and take my side on this. But she knows what he did. She was part of what he did. And she knows SO well how it affected me. And she knows how happy I am to have it.
For the first time in my life, I feel like she really doesn’t care.

Once in a while
You experience a song
A song that makes you feel good
A song that makes you smile
A song that sings all the trouble away
And you listen.
You listen to that song.
Not once.
Not twice.
More.
More than once.
More than twice.
Because you don’t want the feeling to go away.
And if you keep listening to that song
The feeling sticks
Until you’ve worn it out.
Because there comes a time
When that song stops making you feel good
When it stops making you smile
When your troubles are still with you
Even if you listen to the song.
And you want the feeling to come back.
So very badly.
So you can escape.
But it doesn’t.
Now you have no escape.
Your troubles are there.
Your worries.
Your real life.
No song to help you out of your misery…
Or back in
You still like the song
But it’s not special anymore.
Sad But True

bottle….heart….window

*edits to all images: resize, convert to black&white using channel mixer

There is one question in photography that is answered again and again.
“How much editing makes a photograph a manipulation?”

60% of all photographs I see around the internet are visibly color-edited. But is that not okay to do to bring out the emotion you want in it? The photograph is still the same, just with different. If I remember correctly; color editing can be done in a darkroom. I myself have never been in a dark room and I do not know how to use one, but I believe that this can be done (although I could be wrong).

I do not think that color editing (unless it is very extreme) makes a photograph a manipulation. Not contrast boost either, because if you feel that you need more contrast than the camera is able to give you, that should be allowed.

What does make a photo a manipulation?
Adding things to a photograph, I think, that is manipulating. Even if it is necessary to the context, I view that as a photo manipulation. Also changing the background qualifies as manipulating, in my opinion. Changing colors on part of a photograph can also be manipulating if it is not done ‘correctly’. E.g. changing the color of a spot on a cow would be considered a manipulation in my eyes. But maybe if it is clearly stated that this is done out of e.g. a concept of illustrating being different then maybe I would see it otherwise.

I think this is a question with many possible answers that go into many different categories and contexts. It also depends a little on each persons view and what it will be used for.
Art photography leaves the photographer with more editing freedom while in photojournalism almost no editing is allowed at all.
This entry lacks real arguments and points of view, I know. But boredom can only lead to so much.

Third greyscaled nature piece

My boredom drove me to greyscale and add contrast to a few of my nature images so I framed them the same and called every piece greyscaled nature.

These are two of them (click on them to view full size)

Close your eyes
Let your thoughts wander
Where do you end up?